Brides Party Responsibilities
All the members of your wedding party has certain responsibilities to perform on your wedding day. The members of the wedding party, including children, should be attending the wedding rehearsal.
Although children do not have to attend the rehearsal dinner.. they could if they are invited and then their parents should be invited also. All adult members of the wedding party and their spouses should be invited to the rehearsal dinner. If someone in the party is engaged or seriously involved, their fiancé or partner can be invited as well.
You would want all members of the wedding party to be present when the wedding pictures are taken. This may be both before and after the ceremony.
Below are the general duties of the different members of the wedding party. The bride and groom may request that their attendants assist in other ways as well.
The Maid of Honor and the Matron of Honor
The maid or matron of honor will have to prepare themselves to pay for her dress and shoes, unless the bride indicates otherwise. There may also be other thing to pay for like her own transportation and lodging if she is coming from further away.
If the maid or matron of honor should take an active role in helping the bride plan the wedding, including the making of decorations and decorating the wedding Reception sites. It is also appropriate for the maid or matron of honor to arrange and host a bridal shower. If the female parties dresses are rented, the maid or matron of honor may be asked to pick them up the day before the wedding and return them after the wedding. The maid or matron of honor should study the details of the wedding plans so that she can handle any last-minute problems that occur.
She should be actively involved and may want to attend at least one of the bride's meetings with the wedding coordinator in order to know what is going on. She should also work closely with the best man at the rehearsal and on the wedding day to see that everything goes smoothly.
The maid or matron of honor will be expected to do the following on the day of the wedding:
• Help Dressing the bride
• Precede before the bride down the aisle
• See to Arranging the bride's train during the ceremony
• Assist the bride by holding the bouquet during the ceremony
• Carrying of the groom's ring, or obtain the ring from the ring-bearer's pillow, and hand it to the bride
• She may stand in the receiving line after the ceremony
• Oversee the reception arrangements and generally assist as a hostess
while the bride and groom are occupied with the receiving line
• Work closely with the wedding coordinator on any necessary matters
• Sign the marriage license
After the wedding, the maid or matron of honor should assist with the clean-up and removal of decorations unless this is done by the Venue.
She should do anything else that the bride might request of her.
The Best Man
The best man may need to pay for his own transportation to the wedding and other things like lodging and for the rental of his tuxedo. If the best man lives near the groom, he should be actively involved in helping the groom with the arrangements of any pre-wedding plans. He should also pick up the tuxedos from the rental shop or seamstress the day before the wedding and deliver these to the appropriate people. He should also return these after the wedding. The best man could also plan the bachelor party if one is held.
His responsibilities include the following:
• Help and Assist the groom in dressing
• Run last minute errands past the groom
• Work closely with the maid or matron of honor and the wedding coordinator to address any last minute problems that may occur
• Assist with ushering
• Escort the maid or matron of honor down the isle at the end of the ceremony if the bride chooses..and he may also escort the maid or matron of honor down the aisle when the ceremony begins.
• Passing the bride's ring to the groom during the ceremony or retrieve it from the ring bearer's pillow. He may also carry the groom's ring if the bride chooses.
• He may also handle any outstanding Payments for example the minister, organist, soloist, and any others that need to be paid for services rendered during the ceremony if they have not already been paid. The person responsible for the payments should give the best man an envelope with a check enclosed for each service provider.
• If the reception is being held at a separate location, the best man may be asked to drive the bride and groom or other members of the wedding party to the site if they did not rent a limo.
• Sign the marriage license
He and the groom should retire to their dressing room after the pictures have been taken and while guests are arriving and being seated, generally 30 minutes before the ceremony begins. It is tempting to mingle with the guests, but that is best left for the reception.
The best man is not required to stand in the receiving line after the wedding ceremony. At the end of the evenings proceedings, the best man should collect all the tuxedos and return them to the rental shop at the designated time. He could also be expected to assist with any post-wedding clean-up, removal of decorations, and transporting of the wedding gifts if the groom requests.
The groomsmen may also be requested to pay for their own transportation to the wedding and for their lodging while there.
Groomsmen often serve as ushers, who seats the guests before the ceremony. If they are not serving as ushers, they are required to stay in their dressing room with the groom and best man after the pictures have been taken, where the arriving guests cant see them. It is tempting to meet with the guests, but don't give in to temptation. Everyone can mingle afterwards at the reception.
Groomsmen normally escorts the bridesmaids and stand near the best man during the wedding ceremony. The groomsmen should attend the reception and remain in their tuxedoes for a reasonable length of time before changing, preferably until the end of all proceedings and everyone have left. After changing, their clothing should be passed to the best man, or another designated individual, who will see that the tuxes are returned.
The groomsmen should also help with clean-up and removal of decorations after the reception, if requested to do so. If the ceremony and reception are being held at the same location, the groomsmen may be asked to move chairs from one area to another, set up tables, and do anything else needed to quickly prepare for the reception. Groomsmen do not have to stand in the receiving line at the reception.
During the proceedings of the ceremony, the bridesmaids walk down the aisle, either alone or with the groomsmen, and before the maid or matron of honor. Afterwards they will be escorted by a groomsman as they follow the maid of matron of honor and best man up the aisle.. They then proceed to the venue where the reception will be held as quickly as possible. They should plan on remaining at the reception until most of the guests have left before leaving or changing out of their wedding clothes. If needed, they should help with clean-up and removal of decorations after the reception. The bridesmaids do not stand in the receiving line at the reception.
The bridesmaids may be asked to pay for their own dresses and shoes, depending on the bride's budget. They may also need to pay for transportation and lodging.
The groomsmen could be asked to serve as ushers, or the groom may choose other individuals to serve as ushers. Plan on having one usher for every 30 guests. Ushers should be dressed in tuxedos that are similar to those worn by the groomsmen, or in matching suits. Ushers should not be dressed in casually. The main responsibility of the ushers is to seat the wedding guests orderly before the ceremony. Ushers will be given the instructions at the rehearsal as to where honored guests, such as the family's mother of the bride and groom and grandparents, are to be seated.
If the instance where the reception is being held at the same location as the ceremony, the ushers may be assigned to accept gifts at the door and the pass them to a person who has been given the duty of taking the gifts to the reception area. At the end of the ceremony, the ushers will return to escort the mothers and elderly out and to dismiss the guests, unless the bride and groom choose to do it themselves. The ushers should be able to guide the guests to the reception venue, whether it is being held in another room in the same building or at another location. They should also be familiar with the location of coat racks, rest rooms, nursery, and any other areas that guests might inquire about.
The ushers also do not stand in the receiving line at the reception. Ushers should remain in their tuxedos for a reasonable period of time during the reception before changing. After changing, the tuxedos should be given to the best man or another designated individual, who will return them.
The ring bearer is more often a boy, although girls may also fill this role. It could also be that more than one ring bearer is assigned. On the wedding day, the ring bearer normally walk down the aisle after the bridesmaids. It could also be that he goes either before the flower girl or with her.
The child who fulfills this role should be old enough to know and understand what is happening to cooperate with people who may be strangers without becoming frightened. If the ceremony is short and sweet, the ring bearer should stand with the groomsmen. If the child is young, or the ceremony is long, then this person could be seated in the front row after he/she has given the rings to both the bride and the groom. After the ceremony, the child may be made more comfortable to change into other clothing. Children do not stand in the receiving line at the reception.
Depending on the clothing that the bride chooses for the ring bearer to wear, the ring bearer's parents may be asked to purchase the clothing, or he/she may wear rented clothing.
Although a girl or a boy can be a ring bearer...only a girl can be a flower girl. It is acceptable to have more than one flower girl, if desired, or none at all. Dress the flower girl like a child, rather than in a miniature formal. The bride will decide what the flower girl wears and it may be up to the child's parents to pay for the clothing.
As the Ceremony starts... the flower girl precedes the bride down the aisle and sprinkles flower petals for the bride to walk on. Then she will stand beside the bridesmaids. The girls who act as flower girls should be old enough to understand what is happening and to cooperate with people who may be strangers without becoming frightened. If the ceremony is long, it is acceptable for the flower girl to be seated on the front row or with her parents if they are seated near the front of the room. The flower girl does not stand in the receiving line at the reception.
Only young adults should be chosen to act as candle lighters. If there are numerous candles, you might choose more than three candle lighters. If there are only a few candles, one candle lighter can probably handle them all. If the candle lighters are male, they should be dressed in tuxedos similar to those worn by the groomsmen.
You may choose to ask your groomsmen or bridesmaids to act as candle lighters, if you prefer. If the candle lighters are female, they should wear dresses that coordinate with those worn by the bridesmaids, but they do not need to match exactly. Be certain that the persons chosen to light the candles are tall enough to reach the top-most candles in the tallest candelabra.
The candle lighters should be the first members of the wedding party to go down the aisle. If there are candles on the ends of the pews, those should be lighted first, then the candles at the front of the room. The candle lighters do not light the unity candle and may be requested not to light the two side candles if the mothers of the bride and groom are going to do so. After lighting the candles, the candle lighters should retreat back up the aisle. They may then be seated with their parents or the other guests. After all of the wedding party has left the sanctuary and the mothers of the bride and groom and grandmothers have been ushered out, the candle lighters may return to extinguish the candles. The candle lighters do not stand in the receiving line at the reception.
Candle lighters or their parents may be asked to pay for their own clothing for the wedding.